Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Retreat - St. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises
There is so much to mention to everyone. I recently began a new job at StubHub.com. It is completely different from my old job in every way and I feel lucky to be there every day. I am sure I will write more about it sometime soon.
But that is not the big news. I recently went on a retreat. I stayed in a big beautiful house in the middle of the woods all by myself for 4 days. It was a wonderful experience and I think if I continue to ask God for the graces He provided me during that time, it will prove to be one of the most pivotal spiritual experiences of my life.
The retreat was based on St. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises. Each day I was given 5 exercises to meditate on for one hour each. I told my spiritual director that it was like making someone run a marathon after training by walking around the block. At first I completely resisted it. I felt angry and grumpy. But eventually I got into the groove of constant prayer and it really ended up beginning to feel quite blissful.
During the retreat I felt very clear messages from God gently pointing out the things in my personality and in my disordered view of the world that are preventing me from hearing His voice clearly.
Some of these things were:
1. Minimizing the gravity of my sins past and present
2. Clinging to an idea of what it means to "help people" (my life's goal) and resisting any plans from God that don't fit into what exactly I see as doing that
3. Putting other things, even good things, before my life's purpose - to praise and to serve God
There are many other things that came to the surface during the retreat, much too personal to itemize on a public blog but suffice it to say, I really feel like a changed person. When I left the retreat, as I was driving away, tears were rolling down my face.
The time I spent with God those few days was a little slice of heaven. And I urge each and every one of you to carve out just a little bit of time each day to spend with Him in contemplative, silent prayer.
You will not regret it.